I haven't written in over a year. Wow. I guess after a while you just really loose touch or you just get bored of hearing yourself talk so much crap without means to an end. It gets particularly annoying when you're desperate to crawl out of your skin, like me. Maybe I am an angst monster and I like to feed off it. So sue me. I get overly emotional with people I really care about, so yeah, there I go. I've met my downfall.
I'm getting therapy. It seems more like torture but at least I have proven to myself that my father is not a complete failure as psychiatrist. He's pretty good at what he does. Hopefully he won't read this and fill himself with shitty pride.
So why am I getting therapy? A series of reasons. Mostly the inadequate way in which I handle my feelings. Feelings that were not supposed to be there, feelings that were apparently hiding underneath the surface. Vati (that's dad in german for those who want to learn something new) recommended that I write because it helps to clear my head.
...
So I'll cut the crap. I love Thierry (Rink) to pieces. I can't live without him and I can't function without him. However... I can't get over Nathan. I see him, I freak. Hmm. I wrote him a letter, sent it and I got a reply. A reply which pissed me off to no end and made me feel like a car ran over me and then backed up on me. I'd rather not share the reply to that letter, other than the fact that we're meeting up on a church. Weird, like Nathan. That fucker wants to mess with my head, I can feel it. Whatever. I don't want to see him anymore but I WILL.
ANOTHER thing that is really getting on my nerves is my boyfriend's best friend, Lawrence aka Laurie. Yes, you're reading correcty. Laurie like the little women character. Apparently his mom had a thing for that book and decided to play a trick on her son, ruining his life thereafter. I mean seriously. Technically speaking, Laurence (as it is properly written in Little Women) is the character's last name. Though, if the Laurie I know were named THEODORE or TEDDY, oh I solemnly swear I will never allow him to live in peace. Wow, so many lines and I'm barely in his name. Whatever the case, this guy is Thierry's best friend and has been after him ever since I met him. I hate him, with all due honesty. I want to hurt him. He's a manipulative little asshole that is slowly warming his way into my boyfriend's heart.
Here's the part where Vati would frown at me and send me straight to hell for not wanting my boyfriend to extend his ties and create more relationships. In my opinion, why should he get any if he has me? >/
p.s. FUCK NATHAN. >/ Fucking prick summoned the green monster on me.
p.s.s. I just bought a tequila bottle. I'm nervous, can you tell? Nothing a good Jose Cuervo can't fix.
No comments:
Post a Comment